Spiritual Warfare & Marriage - How demons affect our perceptio | Family Matters

Spiritual Warfare & Marriage - How demons affect our perceptions.

Every marriage is usually subject to some level of spiritual warfare; there are very specific things that the demons actually do in order to bring the marriage down. Don’t be naïve - love is sacrifice, not just good feelings.

After original sin, the sin of Adam and Eve, marriage was effected as well. These defects show up in different ways to men and women, and demons will use those defects against the married couple. We have to be aware of this knowledge.

The first thing demons do is to divide the couple into their own minds by affecting their perceptions of each other. That’s the foundation of all division and strife within the marriage: they will foster a negative attitude towards the spouse. It can be psychological but demons will get into those kind of fractures.

For example, a wife decides she is going to do something for her husband because it’s his birthday. He’s in bed and it’s almost seven o’clock in the morning - she goes in because she wants to make him breakfast in bed and she says to him "when are you getting up?". Now, the reason she’s asking this is in order to plan her breakfast, so that when he’s ready to get up the breakfast is ready. When he hears her say that, though, the demon steps in. It puts in his mind “see, she thinks you’re lazy”, while she was just trying to be charitable.

By the nature of the union of the marriage, the closer we are to someone, the less protected we are internally, that is, emotionally. Problems really arise out of a lack of willingness to suffer: in that case, everything the couple sees they will look at from their own woundedness and their own feelings rather than what their spouse really intended. The demons are able to influence your feelings, when you put your feelings over the facts, you are opening the door to the demons to infect the relationship, to get you hyper-focused on the injustice when the majority of this injustice is the invention of the demons.

The Solution

The first thing you have to do in marriage if you’re going to get to any semblance of a solid foundation is to put aside how you feel in relationship to the individual you're married to. Look for the object of reality. Most of the time, your spouse didn't really mean to hurt you, or to be mean etc. You have to keep your head cool, even if you believe you are totally correct.

Quit focusing on the defects of your spouse. Now, this isn't about ignoring your partner’s defects. In fact, God usually makes you sure you get hooked up with the person who maximizes the sensitivity to your own defects. Your spouse is there to chisel away at your defects so you have an oportunity to grow in virtue. What demons do is to keep you focusing in the negative. "If he really loved you, he wouldn’t do this", "look at how obnoxious she is", and so on.

You need to heal individually before you come together and have a normal marriage, because the demons are going to use your woundedness. Part of the reason for courtship is to determine if the person has sufficient virtue, and this also means that they’re not wounded. Many people are very wounded individuals or they have a tender heart towards each other. Our Lord had the most tender of all hearts but if you don’t have that perfection that He had, which is that ability to suffer well, then you won’t be willing to be vulnerable with your spouse and because of that, a wall will come up. The demons are going build that wall block by block by constantly putting stuff in your head about your spouse.

Taken from : Spiritual Warfare & Marriage part 1/3 ~ Fr Ripperger