2021-11-12 21:01:19
Everyone is unique. You’ve got to listen to the human being. You’ve got to listen to who they think they are and how much they really want to come up for air. There are very few people who really want to awaken. Most people just want to avoid pain. And you’ve got to honor that. Give people plenty of space.
Don’t get lost in your judging mind. You don’t judge one tree as better than another tree. It’s just different. This is part of the yoga of relationship, of acknowledging and allowing and yet being able to see through the veils of illusion of separateness in other people.
When you judge, you are saying, “If only that person were this way, it would be so much nicer.” That’s saying, “Hey God, you really screwed up. If you hadn't made this person this way, wouldn’t it be nice?”
How presumptuous!
In relationships, better to give somebody the space to be who they need to be, and use whatever is abrasive as work on yourself. Work to keep your heart open with them just as they are. That way you become an environment in which they can change if they’re ready to. If your heart closes down when they are who they are, that’s called conditional love, and that keeps them locked in that form.
But it’s very hard to be an unconditional lover. You can only be an unconditional lover if you’re resting in a place that isn’t vulnerable. If you think you have something to lose, you are bound to be conditional in your love. Do you see?
by Ram Dass - @ahimsafeed
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