For example, the abuser may say something angry or aggressive, | Daniëlle

For example, the abuser may say something angry or aggressive, but when the victim becomes upset, they will completely deny having used this tone, quickly changing their voice to a softer and calmer tone. The abuser can then accuse their victim of deliberately trying to hear everything they say in a negative way - even though the abuser knows that they are being intentionally aggressive and negative.

The abuser will make up very persuasive lies to intentionally upset the other person and then scold, mock, and put him down for being upset and overreacting. The abuser will also ridicule anything important to the victim in order to make the victim's opinions, life choices, and thoughts seem stupid or inferior to their own. The abuser will laugh or mock his victim, but when questioned, convince him that he was imagining it.

Recognize these warning signs of gaslighting in yourself:

Apologize. A victim of gaslighting will constantly apologize for doing things wrong, even if they haven't done anything wrong. To feel sorry for everything means that the responsibility and responsibility for all alleged wrongdoing has been claimed by one person: the victim. This ensures that the perpetrator remains innocent and the victim is constantly guilty.

Can't make decisions. The victim will find it increasingly difficult to make decisions because they will feel that whatever they choose will be the wrong choice. Everything they do or say is wrong, so they feel they are no longer able to make rational decisions about anything, so they will leave it to their abuser. This gives the abuser even more power and control and prolongs the poisonous dance that takes place between the two.

Change. Change isn't always easy to spot, as most changes happen little by little, so the process can feel very natural in some ways. However, if the victim thinks back to who they were before the relationship and who they are now, they are likely to see significant differences.

Confusion. Victims of gaslighting are often in a constant state of bewilderment and confusion. They find it very difficult to trust their own Mind and constantly doubt their thinking process. Their instincts don't work because when it happens they are very quickly told it's wrong so it becomes a silent tool that keeps the gaslighter on top of their game. The victim will know that something is seriously wrong, but will find it difficult to figure out what. The person being gaslighted will always wonder if he or she is hypersensitive, as he or she will always feel triggered to respond to the gaslighter's behavior.

Being pulled back.
Whoever gets gaslight will be withdrawn because they feel so low and beat up that they have little confidence to hang out with anyone anymore. The victim will feel safer spending time alone than with other people because when the people around them wonder what is wrong, or what is happening in their relationship, the victim simply won't have the answers to justify what's going on.

Due to either depression or severe anxiety, the victim will find it extremely difficult to function normally in society or even with close friends or family. The abuser has won the battle for control at this stage because without anyone confiding in the victim, it will be very difficult to figure out that it is the abuser who is causing the damage. The abuser will not want anyone to fathom their game, so they will work hard to ensure that their victim becomes alienated from anyone who could offer support.

In general, the main reason for gaslighting is to create a dynamic where the abuser has complete control over their victim so that they are so weak that they are very easy to manipulate.

The gaslighter wants to appear superior to the one being gaslighted. By making their victim feel completely helpless with very low self-esteem, the abuser has complete domination over them, so they are very successful at manipulating their victim to get whatever they want.