She was hurt a thousand of times already yet you would see her | DeepThoughts

She was hurt a thousand of times already yet you would see her laughing with her friends like nothing ever happened. She is still the same person, laughing over silly things, telling corny jokes and being optimist all the time. But everything has changed when he broke her.

She was full of love not until she was damaged. All she did before was to give him love and what left her was nothing. She begged for his love but she had nothing. She stood up even though he’s pulling her down. She picked her broken pieces and still had a positive outlook about love.

But then he kept on coming back and kept on stepping down on her. He kept on breaking her heart until she felt numb. And all she can do is to cry herself every night she had a memory of him. Her scars were so deep and she was empty over and over again. She’s now afraid of the idea of being in love.

Years passed and all she did was to give love to herself. And now that there is someone who is more than willing to give his heart to her, she turned him down. Because she’s afraid she can’t give back the love he’s giving. Because her heart isn’t beating like before. It isn’t beating fast as before.

And there she realized, she can’t anymore feel the feeling of being in love because she was too damaged; too wrecked; and she need to find herself. She needs time for her to be able to feel in love again. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to forget and so to keep moving forward until she’s ready. Until she’s ready to love again. And she promised that when it happens, she’s willing to take risks once again to someone. Someone who is deserving of her love. Someone who is worth it. She is willing to give her heart again, to have it broken by someone worth it.

But now, she wanted to be alone. She wanted to escape from reality that she’s broken. She wanted to run away, away from everyone. She wanted to hide and she doesn’t want anyone to see her tear falling through her face, she doesn’t want her friends to see her cry like a baby, she doesn’t want her parents to worry about her thinking why is their daughter crying, because she doesn’t want them sad.

So she tried to wake up every morning wearing her smiles as if she’s not having a broken heart. She wanted to live again because he killed her hundred of times already. He suffocated her and now she wanted to escape his grip. She wanted to breathe.