I'm going to be honest, I'm not ready for college. I'm not e | 🖥Firdavs.Exe 👾

I'm going to be honest, I'm not ready for college.

I'm not even 18 yet, there are things that I may never get to do that need to be done. College will mark the beginning of a new chapter in the book of my life, but why would I start a new chapter when the old one isn't finished? Ever since I got accepted into college I've been asking myself why I did all of this in the first place but I never could get a good answer.

The problem I think is that I never had any motivation or direction. Most of the things I did were just to prove to others that I can. My major was chosen practically randomly and I don't have the slightest idea on who I want to be in the future. I love the pursuit of knowledge but I realized that I have to have some sort of specialty. I really want to know what I want out of my college before I start studying there, especially when it's an amazing University like Cornell.

I also really want to help others. It may seem a bit egotistical but I feel like some people have started to look up to me. I don't want to leave my country when I could be such a big help to the people here. Nobody can guarantee that I will be able to or want to come back and help after 5 years. We all know the education system isn't doing anyone favors. It would be great if I could help out.

Other than that, I want to go the gym and come to Cornell jacked I want to make some money (logically) spend more time with my friends and family and learn how to play CS-GO better. One of my bigger goals is to focus on religion and strengthen my faith. In general just take a long break and become a better a person.