Tension between the Sexes All these unhappy situations we exp | Human Nature

Tension between the Sexes

All these unhappy situations we experience today are the result of the mistakes of our civilization. If a civilization is marked by prejudice, then this prejudice reaches out and touches every aspect of that civilization, and evidence of it is found everywhere. The fallacy of the inferiority of women, and its corollary, the alleged superiority of men, constantly disturb the harmony of the sexes. As a result, an entirely inappropriate tension is introduced into all sexual relationships, thereby threatening and even destroying every chance for happiness between the sexes.

Our whole existence in relationships is poisoned, distorted and corroded by this tension. This explains why harmonious marriages are so rare; this explains too why so many children grow up with the idea that marriage is an extremely difficult and dangerous business. Prejudices such as we have described here may to a large extent prevent children from understanding what life is all about. Think how many young girls consider marriage only as a sort of emergency exit from life, and think of those men and women who see marriage only as a necessary evil!

The difficulties that originally grew out of this tension between the sexes have assumed gigantic proportions today. The less inclined women are to play the part of the submissive female, and the more men strive to keep their privileged status, however spurious, the greater this tension becomes.

Companionship and friendship are hallmarks of a true reconciliation with the sexual role and true equilibrium between the sexes. The subordination of one individual by another is just as unbearable in sexual relationships as it is in relationships between nations.

Everyone should consider this problem very carefully since a mistaken attitude may give rise to considerable difficulties for both partners. This aspect of human life is so important that every one of us is involved in it. It becomes even more complicated nowadays, when children are forced into behaviour patterns that involve a depreciation and rejection of other people.

A calm upbringing could certainly overcome these difficulties, but we live in hasty times, with a shortage of really tried and tested educational methods. A particular problem is the competitive nature of our whole lives, which reaches even into the nursery. All these things determine only too harshly the pattern for later life. The fear that makes so many human beings shrink from forming loving relationships is caused largely by the pointless pressure that compels every man to prove his masculinity under all circumstances even if he has to do so by treachery and malice or by force.

Obviously, these factors work together to destroy all candour and trust in relationships. The Don Juan type is a man who is unsure of his own manliness and constantly seeks reassurance in his conquests. The distrust between the sexes that is so universal prevents people from being frank with one another, and all humanity suffers in consequence. The exaggerated masculine ideal signifies a constant challenge, a constant spur, a constant restlessness that leads only to vanity, self-glorification and maintenance of the privileged’ attitude. All these, of course, are contrary to healthy communal life.

We have no reason to oppose the purposes of the women’s emancipation movements. It is our duty to support them in their struggle for freedom and equality, because in the end the happiness of the whole of humanity depends upon creating conditions where women can live fully according to their capabilities and men can achieve happy relaxed relationships with them.

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