2021-09-11 17:27:57
In the footsteps of Ibn Taymiyya (may Allah have mercy on him)Some topics like marriage never get gold — no matter how much you talk about them. In fact, many of my longread posts are about just that, dating backing to as far back as February 6. Personally, though, I made a vow not to toy with the idea of getting married for at least the next 6 months (but boy is it going to be hard).
However, before you start rolling your eyebrows, people should not know that marriage is a sacred ritual through which people earn a lot of ajr and stay away from a lot of sins. Our beloved Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
“Whoever Allah provides with a righteous wife, Allah has assisted him in half of his religion. Let him fear Allah regarding the second half.” (Source: al-Mu’jam al-Awsat 992)
I began to notice, however, that some people get mocked and ridiculed for bringing up this topic — especially us, the boys. As for me, there is no doubt that young men should think about marriage as per the famous hadith:
"O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married." (Collected by Nasa'i) Our Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) also said:
"Marriage is part of my sunnah, and whoever does not follow my sunnah has nothing to do with me." (Collected by Ibn Maja)
Understandably, girls may have different perceptions, but since I'm not a girl, I'll leave that for another discussion.
Just don't make fun of people who want to get married, will you? By the way, you might be wondering by now why I had to mention Ibn Taymiyya (r.) in the title.
Well, first off, Ibn Taymiyya was one of the greatest scholars of medieval Islam, and I immensely love and respect his personality.
(Also many people often quote his student, Ibn Qayyim, when they make Islamic posts, without any idea who either of these two was). Interestingly, though, Ibn Taymiyya — along with a number of other prominent scholars, such as Imam Nawawi —
never actually got married.The explanation for this choice requires a much longer analysis, which I don't have the time for or the nerves. However, I and my friends often inside make jokes referencing these great scholars, after failed attempts at finding the right girl. (See the comments section!) When Imam Nawawi was asked why he never married anyone, his response was "it slipped my mind" (or simply "I forgot"). I alway be like:
how can you forget to get married, man???
Anyway, I was talking to my groupmate the other day, who decided to stay single until he graduates the university. This came as a shock to me, because just a few months ago, the same guy wanted to get married so desperately. It seems that after trying his luck with several candidates, he simply gave up.
To me, it's not even about finding the right girl anymore. Time and again, we will meet awesome people who make our hearts skip a beat, but really to no avail. The best girls are almost always from Bukhara, for example, which is a no-hoper for someone from Andijan like me. Some are too old, some are too young, and some aren't even in Uzbekistan. There's also this dilemma of
lowering the bar vs
trying one more time, where the person you're looking for simply doesn't exist (or you just don't know them), so you have to decide between overlooking a significant shortcoming and continuing the search.
This is why I'm actually thinking about installing Instagram, because it would lower the bar by so much. Actually, wait, I'm not allowed to think about it for another 6 months.
May Allah save us from a marriage without love, and from a love without marriage! Sometimes it gets to a point where nothing really matters anymore. You're just forced to make a random pick, or do away with this idea altogether — like my groupmate.
Now we have to add this post to our #longread rubric. Though there's still so much more I have in mind, but let's leave that for a voice chat. I guess, at the end of the day, we just have to worry about ourselves.
Don't go out looking for a Fatima unless you're trying to be like Ali. This ends my post.
@ozodbek_SK
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