I am currently a “before” picture. This picture was taken within 48 hours of my pectus surgery. I gained 12lbs of fluid in one night and another few packed on over a couple of days. For the first time in my adult life, I weighed 250lbs. You can see that some flesh has been moved around, and it’s all just unsightly. Why am I posting this? Because as of right now, there is no “after" picture. It doesn’t exist. And considering that I can’t walk the stairs without getting winded right now, that “after” picture probably won’t exist for a solid six months. Now is this setback due to serious, invasive surgery? Sure. But here’s the thing, I don’t feel good about how I look. And sure, I can chalk it up to surgery, to injuries, to the genetic defects which LED to the surgery. But if I want to feel better about myself, no one else can do it for me. Just as surely as I couldn’t perform this complicated surgery, my brilliant surgeon can’t MAKE me fit again. Only I can. It may not be fair. It may not be fun, it simply is.
