The Sun & Her Flowers

2021-08-20 21:57:22 Hey flowers

This is to tell people here that I will be offline for an unknown period of time until I have school handled. If anyone that DMs me doesn't get a response, that's probably why. Until then Open / Comment

2021-08-17 21:00:08 I don't know if this is a rant or an apology. But here goes nothing.

Throwback to a month ago. After I lost touch with my old self completely, I had no idea where to go or what to do. Or if there was anywhere to go for me. I hadn't given up entirely but most of me already had. Nothing made sense- not school, not my religion, not my hobbies, dreams and goals, not my relationships with people. I think that was as lost as I could possibly be as a person. I think I got through that. I think a ray of sunshine seeped into the cracks of my walls, thanks to the guidance and respect I got from someone really important to me. That's only the very first step and I still have a very long way to go. But nevertheless, the feeling of being stranded still comes back once in a while. That's cause I'm yet to deal with all the stored trauma and bad habits I've built up all along. What I can't seem to be able to handle is who I am in the eyes of the people around me. The friends who still think I'm amazing and well... sunshine. The parents who absolutely believe their daughter is going to do great things one day. The 727 people that still wait here to read the crazy stuff I write. The people who admire one little thing about me and remind me of who I once was. I love you all and you keep my pieces together but I sometimes feel guilty because I get to be seen as someone with talents, someone loveable and all when I often feel like I'm just left with the ashes of that girl you all admire.

(I'm not sad or giving up, just expressing what I feel. I'll get better, I'll be better, and you will too. )
@thesunandherflowerss Open / Comment

2021-08-12 23:02:19 About a year ago, a conversation of mental health days came up with a friend of mine. He believed that schools and workplaces all needed to allow their students or workers to have a day or two off when things were too overwhelming. It isn't a perfect plan exactly and it won't solve everything. I don't know if any organization would be willing to do this. But, he has a point. I agreed with him back then, and I still do - now more than ever. The whole idea resonated more to me the past 2 to 3 months when I was silently begging the universe for a break. School was so tough on me and to make things worse, I wasn't in the right mindset to keep up with anything. I think many of you will understand, it's like when something you're doing is demanding so much out of you but the stress from it and other things in life overwhelm you and you just sit there paralyzed, watching others work questioning why you can't. I'm not saying a day off would solve mental health problems. I'm not saying a little break will make the world all sunflowers and daisies. But it would be nice to be able to step back sometimes. To breathe, to reflect and to remember why you do what you do. Wouldn't it?

~You don't have to wait for anything. If you feel like you've lost track, take an hour, half a day, or a full one to do things that help you relax or restore energy. Prioritize yourself.

@thesunandherflowerss Open / Comment

2021-07-23 19:19:39 I plan to get back to writing soon, but I have finals in a few days so I'll lay low until it passes. Open / Comment

2021-07-23 00:00:03 Your admin just turned 20. Open / Comment

2021-07-22 23:42:13 And I hope it'll be sunny tomorrow. For my sake Open / Comment

2021-07-22 23:35:46 So so so so tomorrow is my birthday and I thought, why not take a moment to summarize the past year? It's been dramatic as hell and has been a mixture of the most amazing and toughest things to happen to me. But all through that, I wasn't alone and I thank… Open / Comment

2021-07-10 10:37:09 Join up, you won't regret it. Open / Comment

2021-07-10 10:36:51 Open / Comment