2022-12-23 21:03:24
Colored Dreams in Blank Reality:Year 2022 was a mixed year for me. While i have lost a lot in this year, i am lucky enough to write this text from National Police Academy (NPA). I remember
last year, this time of 2021, at this very moment i was on my roof crying for things a many, my breakup being the most prominent one. I had my CSM-21 starting in a couple of weeks but i was just thinking about my girl and what not.
Cut to this time of 2022, i am at peace. My fears have been disillusioned, my crying stopped and my life energy at peace with the present - not worried about past or future. You must be wondering why i am writing this. I know many of you are going through breakups, fears of failing, many of you couldn't make it to CSPT-22, some of you are 26yrs+ but got no job, financial crisis leading to existential crisis. I know you have many rich thoughts, colorful dreams but blank reality. Terrible things have happened to some of you, but i just wanted to tell you, things, whatever things happened, it's all is just gone. Today you have a chance to think about your past or carve out your future.
Last week i heard of a guy who committed suicide, couldn't take the struggles, failures and depression. I wish i could have helped him in time but whoever is going through tough phase in life right now, have faith in yourself. Life is too short to cry, to live depressed or to be anxious. You must be going through some miserable shit but tonight is not the night to quit.!
What happens if you quit today and meet god in other world, if any. And there, when god shows you an alternative future, shows you a good life, happy life, successful life. God says this is what you were supposed to do, this is what you could have achieved if you did the right thing. What would you tell God?
Dear comrades, no matter on which side of line we are standing today, success or failure, we are still standing. Isn't that enough? You still have time, don't you? Stop thinking about the past, look at the future you can still build, brick by brick, moment by moment. You had rough days, tough outcomes, they left you, exams failed you. It's all okay.
Today is the day you should set a reminder, write it on a paper, what is the biggest thing you have lost in 2022? Paste this paper somewhere or do whatever but just remember this. Let your coming year be the year of rewriting your destiny. Make it your mission to reclaim your things, if not the same person/dream/exam/job, even better than that. The point is not to lose the past completely but absolving your soul and setting yourself free from it. Today is the day to plan to rewrite your history, to regain lost control over your emotions. I know you have lost battles but today is the time when you recede and just plan to conquer the lost places. Today set up the canvas, dream your alternative outcome, color that dream in completely new blank reality.
While you plan and set in motion your next year, i just want to read out to you one of my favorite quote
"
Sometimes when you are in a dark place, you think you have been buried but actually you have been planted."
Plant yourself today in your days of failures, struggles, pain, sufferings and futility but nourish your dreams. You have everything you need within you. Trust yourself.
Whatever you have achieved or lost in last one year, live it today one last time. Be thankful for it and finally just move on. What is gone is gone. It's over.
If some dreams are over, some were achieved. Some were blank white, some were dark black but remember you had your share of bright colorful dreams too. And in the end you have survived all of them and whatever days you've lived in last one year, you have lived, you have grown through them all.
Dear comrades,
Keep growing.!
Best wishes,
Kaptaan
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