The room spins. Lately it suddenly does. Quick! What are five | Scribbles

The room spins.
Lately it suddenly does.
Quick!
What are five things you can see?
I scan the room,
hoping something would catch my eyes
something would ground me.
How is it everything in this dark room is so bright
that I am terrified it would blind me?

Focus.
Breathe.
And name the five things you manage to see.

I see the walls.
Is it just me or do they seem like they are closing?
I don't know.
But mark it down from the list as one thing.
And I see my pen
and a crumbled paper
I see my notebook
How many was that so far? Four?
I see him too, but I know I can't add him to the list
focus
breathe
and list the fifth thing in the room that exists.
Me?

What are the four things you can touch around you?
I am already pushing up the wall against the ground, that it just can't seem to attach to.
And I feel my pen against my right hand
clutched so hard, it's piercing me.
Blood. Is that blood dripping from me?
Scratch my previous answer.
Can this be the fifth thing I see?

Focus.
Breathe.
Sit down on this couch.
And tell me the rest of the things you know you can touch.

I can touch the couch, does that count?
The blood dripping, I can also feel that.

Now try to listen to the surrounding that's near
and tell me three things you can hear.

I can hear heavy breathing.
Is someone drowning?
And a loud heartbeat
can I count it?
And a sob. I hear a sob.
Should we go get help? Or would that count as number three so we can move on?

You are following the steps very well.
Now tell me two things you can smell.

Hmm. I don't know.
I forgot his odor.
I can't remember.

No. Focus.
Breathe gently.
Don't go down this memory lane
and try to stay with me.

Why did I forget what he smells like tho?

It's okay. Stay with me
and find two things only.

Hmm. Do I smell spring?
Wait. That's not true.
This is dragging for far too long
I'm starting to lie to you.
But I smell the ink
and the paper too.
Ink. Paper. Blood.
Nope. Just those two.

Focus.
Breathe.
You are doing great.
Now tell me the one thing you can currently taste.

I can taste loss.
I can taste failure.
I can taste fear.
I can taste nothingness.

Something salty.
Oh wait! These liquids running down my cheeks,
I can taste the tears.

I sigh with a relief.

Now what?
This is the last step right?
We are done counting?
So when does the room start to stay still
and stop spinning?

【5, 4, 3, 2, 1】


#RANDOM_THOUGHTS