【A story of three life times】 (Or at least that's what it fe | Scribbles

【A story of three life times】
(Or at least that's what it feels like.)

(I)
I viewed the world dark.

Well. Not exactly.
I just needed a dramatic start to catch your attention.
Back when I was young, and the hands I valued the most were there to hold me,
I used to close my eyes when we walked
I would choose not to see.

The world = a safe place
My mind = a safe space
I used to embrace darkness
in his embrace.

I closed my eyes
and played with colors I still see,
so when I opened my eyes after a while
the brightness would surprise me.
How I loved to open my eyes and see.

(II)
I viewed the world blurry.

As I got older,
and there were no hands to hold me
I found out I couldn't walk alone
to take all the things life would give me.
I needed help to see.

I remember sitting at the doctor's office
and her casually asking me,
'Do you have fear of light? I could prescribe something darker so it's easier to see.'

I also remember shaking my head instantly,
rejecting the offer
who wants to see an already bright world
a little bit darker?

I guess I had a little bit of innocence left in me then.

How was I to know the lights would betray me?
That they'd be something I can't bear,
that I would, one day, open my eyes and say
'It's too bright in here.'

So I sit again, at the doctor's office
because I can't handle brightness,
I no longer close my eyes either
I no longer embrace darkness.

Years after, with squinched eyes I ask
if there's a mediocre life to all of it
between the bright and the dark?

Is this where the child in me dies completely?
For I'm afraid to close my eyes now,
I'm afraid not to see.
And is this where the hopeful dies?
For I can no longer take brightness,
I can't open my eyes.

Who is this person, I wonder.
And what color would they embrace?

(III)
I view the world through shaded lens.


#RANDOM_THOUGHTS