Withholding Approval Communication between fathers and sons | Human Nature

Withholding Approval

Communication between fathers and sons is often characterized by silences. While sons long for recognition and approval from their fathers, fathers are reluctant to give this approval freely, this sequence of events is a familiar pattern in men, who are often unable to shower their sons with the praise, affection, or recognition craved by their offspring. When the son experiences this silence, he may try harder to impress, or he might withdraw, but the silence remains irrevocably imprinted in his mind.

The phenomenon may stem from a competitive interplay of male egos; a man who showers his son with praise would somehow be compromising his own power, making it less valuable. From the son’s point of view, if approval is given too easily, without some degree of withholding, the father is then no longer worthy of impressing. It appears that in most forms of society there is a belief that men cannot be both strong and open. This behavior does a disservice to men. They are denied the opportunity to express affection toward their sons—and the sons are forced to go without that affection. Now that you know about this, you can start from making some changes from within your home.

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