The Comedy Centre

2021-09-05 18:52:13 My roommate just found $200 in his old trouser, hope my old trousers can see what their mate is doing for their owners? Open / Comment

2021-09-04 18:18:52 Why is it that my clothes get caught up with the door handle ONLY when I am in a bad mood? Open / Comment

2021-09-04 09:15:18 Education and schooling are two totally different things.

Henry Ford never went to school, Bill Gates is not a graduate, Mark Zuckerberg is not a graduate, Micheal Dell is not a graduate.

They are all NOT properly formally schooled but they are ALL very educated.

#WordForTheDay Open / Comment

2021-09-03 14:28:05 Sandra: If I told you I love you, will you say it back

Me: Yes

Sandra: I love you

Me: It back Open / Comment

2021-09-02 20:53:54 Me (to the police after arresting me with marijuana): Making a plant illegal is like saying God is wrong.

Police: Making a plant illegal is the very first thing God did! Open / Comment

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2021-09-02 10:58:10 Instructor: You are on the high way and suddenly an elderly man and a young girl appears in front of you, what do you hit?

Me: The elderly man, the young girl has her whole life ahead of her.

Instructor: . No, the brakes, you hit the brakes! Open / Comment

2021-09-01 22:35:51 Me: Let's have phone sex over the walkie talkie.

Sandra: Yes, let's do it, it will be awesome.

[Over walkie talkie]

Me: Bend over.

Sandra: Bend what? Over! Open / Comment

2021-09-01 07:01:09 I asked God for a bike, but I know that is not how God works.

So I stole a bike and asked God for forgiveness! Open / Comment

2021-08-31 09:14:58 I just want you to know that, that girl that's ignoring you and not replying your text is also waiting for a reply from another guy that's ignoring her.

That's life! Open / Comment