My posts now have a gloomier touch to them, I've noticed. But | The Sun & Her Flowers

My posts now have a gloomier touch to them, I've noticed. But as much as I would love to make y'all happy and cheer you up, I also have to be honest about what I'm feeling, what I'm experiencing and all of that. So for the sake of documenting this, and with hope that someone reads this and feels less alone, here's the writing I promised you a year ago. My 'I'm no longer in quarantine!' essay.

After those very, very long and gray 11 months passed by, things started going back to normal. I had school back, I reconnected with all the friends I had been missing, I took early morning walks in the sunrise - pretty much everything I craved back then. I'm so grateful for that because if I was still stuck at home doing nothing but watching videos, I would've lost my mind. But at the same time I feel like a part of me is still living in those 11 months. It's still emotionally compromised and has changed irreversibly. I'd call it growth but it's more like change. I'm relieved but it doesn't feel as free as it should. Maybe it's growth, I dont know. Maybe loss does that to you. Or the isolation? I feel like I'm not the only one who feels different after last year, right? It's like something's missing.

Whatever could have done this, I still have to find a way back. I owe myself and everyone around me including you guys that beacon of hope. I still have a lot to do in this world before I let go of everything like that. I hope I don't disappoint.

@thesunandherflowerss