DeepThoughts

2022-05-27 19:10:24 What is your birthday month? Open / Comment

2022-05-25 19:01:42 What is your birthday month? Open / Comment

2022-05-24 11:18:37 Almost is never enough. That’s one thing in life that we normally wouldn’t accept. Most of the times, we will just let it be, because we have always known that what we sow is what we reap. But deep down, we really want the best for us, so we would be promising to ourselves to try harder next time.
           We always strive for the best, that’s part of our nature, I guess. We don’t get contented no matter how much we have for ourselves at the present. We would always want more, we’ll continue to push ourselves to farther limits to get more, in pursuit of the best. We can’t allow to just reach ‘almost’, because we think we can do better. There are still areas that remain unchartered, we still want to get there, for we can’t just settle for no lesser than the best.

           It’s like we are all machines programmed to strive for the best. But of course we get tired along our searching and wonder when, where and how it will all be ending. Funny, aren’t we? We are guided by the thought that we live to compete in a world that doesn’t welcome losers. And obviously, we don’t want to be excluded. But in the end, we’ll realize after we did our best, it’s still just not enough. And it will never be. Open / Comment

2022-05-22 20:58:12 What is your birthday month? Open / Comment

2022-05-22 09:28:23 Don't forget to cut yourself some slack. You are trying your best with what you have, you have overcame a lot and you should be proud of that every single day. As I am. You will live a fruitful life with someone who will love you unconditionally and understand you completely, without it being so difficult. Open / Comment

2022-05-21 08:57:00 Let’s heal ourselves today. We’ve had too much pain already. It’s time for us to be happy again. Open / Comment

2022-05-20 19:48:41 We're all the same. We get hurt, cry, feel tired and on the edge of giving up. But the difference is that, some people give up while others are fighting again. Or some of them just.. had enough. Open / Comment

2022-05-20 11:41:36 Goodbye

Yes, you didn’t give up. But you also didn’t try. You kept saying that you were gonna change that things will be different this time but it never was, it never got better. Are we supposed to romanticize the future when the present is awful? 

So, yes. I’m the one who gave up. Because I shouldn’t be begging someone for the bare minimum. Time and time again, I bring up how I want to be loved and it’s just exhausting. I think I deserve more than someone who can’t answer their phone when I need them to, someone who’s always in the mood for me, someone who makes me feel like I am loved and cared for. I have never asked for anything extravagant and material, all I wanted was your time and attention. You knew what hurt me yet you kept doing it, perhaps because you just didn’t care. 

Maybe you do love me but not enough to try. Not enough to try and show me that you do. Because if you did then I wouldn’t be hurting like this. I have tried my best in all aspects of this relationship. I always tell myself that love is not 50-50 because some days the other needs more love, patience, and support. I did that. I gave that. But when is it my turn? When do I get to feel the love and support? When do I get to feel that I am allowed to let my hair down in this relationship? I have tried my very best only to be treated like a mop. I’m the one who kept conversations going, I’m the one who initiates dates and calls, I’m the one who plans stuff, I’m the one who tries to close the gap between us, I ask you how you are, make sure to help when I can, and I’m the one who was willing to uproot her entire life and move to a whole new different country to have a life with someone who won’t even answer my call because they’re not in the mood.

You only want me when it’s convenient for you. I’m tired of writing. I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of you taking space in my mind.
So yes, I’m the one who gave up. But at least I could say that I tried. 

So I’m letting go of you. Completely.
I just hope you don’t experience the love that you’ve made me feel.
Goodbye Open / Comment

2022-04-08 11:07:43 You deserve the love

You are still worthy of love. You are still worthy of knowing what it means to know to love and to be loved. I am sorry for the one who broke your trust. I am sorry for the one who took you for granted. You should have never known what it meant for a heart to be broken in that way.

But you are worthy of love, anyway.
You are worthy of being able to move forward in beautiful, healing ways. You may feel the burden of the brokenness right now, but there is still much more to your story. Your life is not a checklist.

Just because the things you hoped for have fallen out of place does not mean you cannot keep living a meaningful, purposeful life. As long as you are breathing, you are not out of time. No matter what is not checked off on the “list,” you are still being called to go on the journey. Even amidst the brokenness. Even amidst the sadness. These feelings are real, but this is not all there is to you.

And you are going to move on.
My friend, you are going to move on.
You are going to wake up one day and realize:
certain things no longer bother you.
They may cross your mind from time to time,
but it will not feel the same,
and it is then you will realize:
you have grown
in beautiful, healing ways.

You have spent so many nights trying to communicate what you feel. You have spent so many years trying to get to the core of it all. You have wondered what you missed or what you could have done differently. And you have also been invited to step into light and believe that even amidst the brokenness, you still have the capacity for love. The one that hurt you could not take that from you.

And love will look different here and in the seasons to come, but that will be a beautiful thing. You will find this was what you were needing: a new beginning. A new way of living. A new way of trusting that despite the one who broke your trust, you were still free to hope, to believe, to love Open / Comment

2022-04-06 10:10:15 Not all chapters have a happy ending, but it doesn’t mean your story won’t have one. Sometimes you have to let go, happiness can’t be found in a place where you lost it. Open / Comment