Nocturnal Thoughts

2021-06-22 12:06:23 "why"
why do i exist?
is it to live or to die?
why can't I just laugh
why do I have to cry
why can't I be true
why do I have to lie
why do I see the dark
when I can see the light
why do I like the views from the mountain
and be scared of the height
why can't I be good
why I'm doing bad
while being so sure
karma is coming back
it's a universal program I can't figure to hack

why can't I just listen to the voice inside
why is it so loud and quite at the same time
why is it feels like it's the crime i have done and can't run away to hide
why is silent feels like an ocean that I can't go deep inside
why is sounds makes no sense to this messed up mind of mine
why does it feel the same all the days and the nights
why can't I bare to see it
why do I keep lossing my sight
why can't I separate my mind from my soul
why am i here what's my purpose, what's my role
if i can't feel God and give him my ol
why do I feel like I'm the precious gold
that I digged to stole
why is the wrong number always easy to call
why is choice hard for me to handle
why wasn't i able to say no to that apple
why do I feel cheep while being so Noble
why can't I be the man I was made to be
why can't i find the truth that can set me free
why didn't I eat from the Peaceful eternal tree

why is love given
when i don't deserve it at all
why does it keep lifting me up
when I was suppose to fall
why can't I feel it and stop being in control
why is Real feels like the house i have
but never my home
why is mistake feels like it's part my bone
why do I expect a headshot with no aim
why do time sacrifice his pride for my shame
why do I close my door and say hope never came
why do i keep losing when I invented the game
why do I keep pointing fingers
when it was me to blame
why didn't I just keep calm and trust in the name
of the Creater of every time and every realm
why am i I trying to find it using only my brain
u can never ask the sky why it gives us rain
u can only enjoy the beauty of the fall
Im created to be a person
I can't be nothing more!

late night thoughts
#NZ# Open / Comment

2021-06-20 23:01:45 "Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly."

Anne rice on Kafka Open / Comment

2021-06-10 13:28:26 Confidence is not walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, its walking into a room not comparing yourself to anyone at all. Open / Comment

2021-06-06 16:32:43 "Blessed are the hearts that can bend; They shall never be broken"
Albert Camus Open / Comment

2021-06-04 22:41:49 "There is nothing addictive than the past" Open / Comment

2021-06-03 20:57:16 As they sat in the coffee shop,he kept a pretty long glance at her and he wished he wanted to save the moment of that precise time. He thought she looked glorious at that moment, how the sun strike through the window Infront of her and she seemed to shine, he saw one or two white hairs, that shines in the sunlight, that seems to amuse him always. not that she was old, she was actually much younger than him but her gray hair kinda makes him think it adds to her beauty.
"merry, tell me please if you can tell me what's on your mind, but make sure what you gonna tell me is something authentic.i mean, Think about something ask your self if that something you thought came from your social background, family, religion,or something like that, if it's from those, leave it, try to think something something that feels like only your own."
" but how can I tell something is that original, isn't what ever I think related to those things you said ?"
He listened and thought about it while he sips his coffee " am pretty sure you can think of something, we all can and we all have the ability. We just need a trigger."
" then would you trigger me Mr" she replied with cracking a dangerous smile and then she lazily lay her head on the coffee table without breaking her eyes off him.

" Ok lazy bone,let me ask you , what does it mean to be human for you?" He was looking at her while he is sipping his coffee.
She could always recognise his curiose eyes when ever they lay on her, it makes her feel like she was putting on a comfy blanket over.

" To be human for me is to be able to think and feel towards the thing that I can perceive, to be human is to be able to through unimaginable and consistent suffering and still be able to hope. I think only humans can actually hope. Take the way I fee about you, sometimes they can be cruel, crushingly painful but somehow I can find beauty in it, because am a human."

He leaned down as she lay on the table and gave her a kiss on the cheek and thought to him self, isn't that something to think of. Open / Comment

2021-06-01 21:51:42 Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So, be careful what you get good at. Open / Comment

2021-05-31 21:10:54 Few Years later they met.

She looked into his eyes and said "You left a mark in my life"
"You left a scar" he sighed. Open / Comment

2021-05-31 20:47:11 Open / Comment

2021-05-30 21:35:39 “I think we ought to read only the kind of books that wound or stab us. If the book we're reading doesn't wake us up with a blow to the head, what are we reading for? So that it will make us happy, as you write? Good Lord, we would be happy precisely if we had no books, and the kind of books that make us happy are the kind we could write ourselves if we had to. But we need books that affect us like a disaster, that grieve us deeply, like the death of someone we loved more than ourselves, like being banished into forests far from everyone, like a suicide. A book must be the axe for the frozen sea within us. That is my belief.”

― Franz Kafka Open / Comment