The Sun & Her Flowers

2020-12-20 11:57:54 •How to Cope (and move forward)

As I've said before, this is a common issue and it's okay to deal with it. It doesn't mean you are going to fail in life. But at some point you are going to have to pick up your sword and fight. Below are some tips that I thought would come in handy. I have personally tried some of them and succeeded. The rest I learned from people or the internet. I hope they help.

-Start slow. If your mind hasn't experienced accomplishment in a long time (even the small ones like making your bed), it could be hard to go back on track quickly. Think of it as a process. Start with one or two tasks per day if you have to.
-Your post-wake up routine really matters. Ideally, what we do is toss around a little after we wake up, grab our phones and stay in there for several more hours. This could be okay once in a while but on a daily basis, it keeps us stuck in a drowsy routine. So get up at a time you feel okay with, make your bed, and then continue with your other activities. I know it's a little too much to ask. But do it once and see how it affects your entire day.
-Have a to-do list. Not a mental one. Written! Writing something down makes you recognize a goal. Even if the only thing you have to do today is write one email, write that down and enjoy the satisfaction of crossing it out when completed.
-Break tasks down into small chunks. Instead of cleaning the entire house, work with one room at a time. Your mind feels burdened when faced with tasks that are too heavy and tries to avoid them.
-The Pomodoro Method. You might have heard of this as a study method. Basically, what you do is set a timer for 25 minutes and begin your work. Then take a 5 minute break and repeat. After you do 4 blocks of 25 minute sessions, take a 30 minute break. This helps you get the job done without having to focus for too long or feel fatigued. I haven't tried this yet but I'm willing to experiment.
-Avoid distractions. Someone once told me that first world countries make phones and other devices so addicting because they want to trap the third world youth in a loop of addiction and unproductiveness. It sounds a little biased because procrastination is an international thing, but we are indeed trapped. Enjoy social media and communicating but put your gadgets away when you think of getting work done.
-Reward yourself. Remember those instant gratifications we talked about? Well they aren't always bad guys. You can use them to your own advantage and delay them; turning them into delayed gratification. For example, 'After I clean my room I can watch an episode of my favorite series.'
-Figure out which time of the day you are most likely to be productive during. This skill will help you throughout life. It could be in the morning, afternoon, evening or even past midnight. Experiment and see which works best for you.
-Have someone help you out. You aren't required to do this, but it helps to have someone check on your progress. A friend or a sibling would do. If not, you can text me and we can work on it together. Username in my bio.


@thesunandherflowerss Open / Comment

2020-12-20 10:57:54 This could help you see things from a better perspective. My favorite TED talk by the way.



Open / Comment

2020-12-20 08:57:55 •Procrastination and Overall Health
( Trigger Warning- Mention of mental and eating disorders)

It's not a disease or a condition. It's more like a habit. Procrastination acts both as a cause and a symptom for mental health issues in addition to physical health detriments.

*Delaying work until the last minute significantly causes stress and frustration as one tries to fit in days of work into a few hours. If she/he manages to finish up on time, the brain gets tricked into believing that this is a shortcut method and doesn't try to get rid of the unhealthy act. If the result is failure, feelings of guilt and worthlessness can dominate. Not to mention parental or familial pressure and expectations. All in all, procrastination increases stress levels and the occurrence of negative emotions; making us more prone to stressed-induced mental disorders like depression and anxiety.
*Mental disorders like ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), eating disorders, anxiety and depression make it difficult to get up and get things done. This is because the conditions cause lack of energy, motivation, and willpower. And as a result, work gets delayed and ends up bringing more stress and problems in return, and the cycle continues. And even if one isn't diagnosed with a mental illness, emotions can become too strong to handle and keep us from going about our day like we want to. I know many of us relate to this because it isn't rare to have days when we just want to sit or lay down doing nothing rather than study or socialize.
*Stress is a tough thing to deal with on its own. But when it is felt on a constant basis, it brings about health problems like hypertension, gastrointestinal issues (a common example is that burning sensation in your abdomen when you are extremely upset or worried), diabetes, obesity, headaches...to mention a few.

-Being a procrastinator doesn't mean you necessarily have a mental disorder or body health issues. And having physical/mental illnesses doesn't mean you are a procrastinator. They are possibilities. Not requirements for one another.

@thesunandherflowerss Open / Comment

2020-12-20 07:57:55 •What is it?

Procrastination is the act of delaying a task for later so as not to do it at a certain moment. This could be one's job, schoolwork or chores. Usually, a procrastinator, mostly involuntarily, pushes away the thought of having to do something for the sake of instant gratification. Instant gratification is a sense of happiness or accomplishment we get without having to work too hard. For example, watching a movie, playing games, or any activity that is easily enjoyable. Delayed gratification, on the other hand, is when you study for a test and then nail it; or gain/lose weight after months of effort. Instant gratification activities could be good for relaxation, but do not qualify as long term goals. Careers, grades and accomplishments are all results of at least some struggle, and procrastination holds many back from having these.

Unfortunately, procrastination doesn't stop here. It affects the bigger things in life. Not all of your dreams have a deadline to them. Things like starting your own business, learning a new language, taking care of your health (physical or mental), visiting places, achieving your personal goals, etc will not be reinforced by your workplace or your school. No one is going to check if they have been done, except you. You could end up living with regrets and what ifs. If you admit that you are a procrastinator and are willing to try and make a difference about it, I'm glad you made that choice and I hope I can help. And if you thought of it but keep denying it, this is a sign. It's okay, happens to the best of us. Research your doubts, talk to people, and give it a thought. Identifying your problem makes it less powerful and you more prepared.



@thesunandherflowerss Open / Comment

2020-12-20 07:27:55 Good morning, flowers. I have returned.

Last year, I asked you people to message me with the things that you believe affect today's youth negatively. The word 'procrastination' came up several times, amongst mental disorders and substance abuse. I thought it'd be right to address that today.

I'm not claiming to be better than anyone. I actually decided to write about this a month ago but I'm doing it now (the irony ). I'm a moderate procrastinator who still manages to meet deadlines but it is still something I need to work on. And I know many of you deal with it too. So here goes nothing.

You can DM me if you want me to include ideas that you have. Correct me if I'm wrong too. @enchanty

@thesunandherflowerss Open / Comment

2020-11-29 09:52:14 And be honest with me. The poll is anonymous and I want your true opinion. I love you all. Open / Comment

2020-11-29 09:48:09 Hey there flowers. I'm sorry I disappeared but I'm here to talk to you about some things.

I created this channel to help people. No other reason to it. I believe I can address people's emotions well and help them feel better about things. But I've learned that I could be a detriment too. I've learned that my writings could be triggers to the pain that a reader feels. And the last thing I want to do is make things worse for anyone. Please participate in the poll I'm posting next so I can decide how to right my wrongs. Thanks in advance.

@thesunandherflowerss Open / Comment

2020-11-12 13:43:35 "Forgive me if a joke or a meme about mental illness makes me angry."
.
I was diagnosed with General Anxiety disorder when I was 19. I had depression for over 2 years. I was admitted to a hospital 2 years ago with the assessment of Brief Psychosis + MDD.
.
Even though I have come a long way I am still on Anti-depressants. I am still trying to avoid anything that can make me relapse.
.
My mom had post partum depression. It relapsed later in life and it affected her. She was misunderstood by man people around.
.
So forgive me if a joke or a meme about mental illness makes me angry. May God have mercy on the next person that even attempts to joke about mental illness on my timeline.
.
A little story: When I was a freshman I was diagnoased with GAD and decided to withdraw. Almost everyone around me didn't understand my illness. Some thought I was ok and didn't look sick at all, others questioned if I was doing that to change fields, and my parents didn't know how to handle it.
.
Perhaps the worst part of having anxiety or any mental illness for that matter was being judged and being used as a gossip topic by neighbours, 'friends' and church members/ pastors/elders.
.
Everyone who was showering you with praise was all of a sudden questioning your everything.
.
Being judged introduced me to something called depression. The first thought that came to my mind when I woke up in the morning was how I ruined my life by withdrawing. The last thought that also came to my mind when was about to go to bed was how my friends are learning/ not me.
.
Here are some of the things people said to me when I got sick and withdrew:
.
"አቅብጣችሁ ነው ያሳደጋችሁት!" (a famous 'Psychiatrist' said this btw)
"እንደዛ ስትዘምር እንዳልነበር?!"
"ስታካብዱለት withdraw አደረገ"
"በጣም odd ፀባይ ነው ያለህ"
"አላመመህም ባክህ እንደውም ተስማምቶሃል"
.
But things do get better... I took my therapy seriously, I had cognitive behavioural therapy sessions every week, I did my assignments and in the process I ended up liking Psychiatry.
.
I want to help people get from where I was to where I am.
.
Mental Illness doesn't always have a spiritual element or a purely medical basis. I believe having faith and wanting to get better makes the therapy so much easier.
.
Today's message is the same as always- #MentalHealthMatters
.
Good Day.
Don't cross the red line!
Dr. Brook Genene Open / Comment