Human Nature

2022-01-10 11:33:16 How Character Develops

Any character traits conspicuous in personalities must be appropriate to the direction in which the psyche of individuals has developed since early childhood. This direction may be a straight line (realization of their goal along a direct line, and develop an aggressive, courageous character) or may be marked by meanders and detours.

The business of living in our civilization (the inescapable influence of that wider environment, the world, is of great importance), as expressed in the demands, doubts and emotions of children’s family and teachers, ultimately affects their character. All education takes on the method and the attitude best calculated to develop pupils in the direction of the prevailing social life and culture.

Obstacles of every sort are fatal to a straight-line development of character. Where they are present, the paths children will take to accomplish their goal of power will deviate to a greater or lesser extent from the straight line. Where there are no obstacles, the efforts of children will be undeterred, and they will approach their difficulties directly. Let us call them Type A children. In the second case – Type B – we have the picture of an entirely different type of child. They lack Type A’s courage. Moreover, they have discovered that fire burns and that not everyone is kindly disposed towards them. Type B will not take the direct route to their goal of recognition and power, but will use a series of detours. How they develop psychologically depends on how far they go out of their way. These detours will determine how cautious they are, whether they are in tune with the necessities of life or merely attempt to avoid them. Type B will not approach their tasks and problems directly. If they become cowardly and timid, refusing to look other people straight in the eye or to speak the truth, it does not mean their aims are any different from Type A’s. Two people can act differently, but have the same goals.

Both types may co-exist to a certain degree in the same individual. This occurs especially when children’s characters are not fully formed, when their principles are still elastic, when they do not always assume the same path, but retain sufficient flexibility to look for another approach if the first attempt proves inadequate.

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2022-01-08 11:39:10 On Being Human

Willpower is what distinguishes humans from animals. It's the ability to control our impulses, resist temptation, and do what's right and good in the long run rather than what we want to do right now. It is, in fact, fundamental to civilisation. Humans have the ability to go against their instincts in order to achieve a better future. Unfortunately, many individuals follow the rule of "do it if it feels good, don't do it if it doesn't." In some ways, giving in to your temptations whenever you feel them arise is akin to losing your humanity. As a reasonable human being, you have the potential — and, might I say, the obligation — to make rational decisions rather than relying solely on your instincts.

Rather than submitting to your most primal (and least useful for your long-term goals) region of the brain, strive to be a better human and accept your humanity by using your "willpower muscle." Except in the case of a direct threat to your survival, your most fundamental instincts may bring brief solace, but they are rarely good in the long run.

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2022-01-08 07:06:02 All of us have certain habits, and unfortunately, most of them are bad...  

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2022-01-05 17:51:23 Stop Personalizing Events, Start Externalizing Them

If people could stop blaming themselves for things that have happened in their lives, the rate of depression would decrease dramatically. We are generally brought up to believe that the world is a fair and rational place; that if we are good, good things will happen to us. But if things go well when we are good, what does that say about us when things go wrong? Our belief in a “Just World”—where the good are rewarded and the bad punished— makes us blame ourselves for the bad things that happen to us.
When we are wronged or hurt in some way, there is a tendency to ask, “Why did this happen to me?” People look back to see what they did to cause the situation, even in the case of a natural disaster. Self-blame, guilt, helplessness, and shame irrationally arise when bad things happen, and these can lead to depression.

We create and choose our beliefs. Once we understand this, we can let go of the idea of a Just World and think more rationally about negative experiences. We might suffer from bad parenting, job loss, or even a devastating tornado, but these things did not happen because we are doomed to misfortune, nor do we deserve to be treated badly. To recover from these setbacks, we need to stop personalizing events, start externalizing them, and realize that sometimes bad things just happen. To turn natural sadness into depression, all you have to do is blame yourself for the disaster that has befallen you.

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2022-01-03 15:09:23 Withholding Approval

Communication between fathers and sons is often characterized by silences. While sons long for recognition and approval from their fathers, fathers are reluctant to give this approval freely, this sequence of events is a familiar pattern in men, who are often unable to shower their sons with the praise, affection, or recognition craved by their offspring. When the son experiences this silence, he may try harder to impress, or he might withdraw, but the silence remains irrevocably imprinted in his mind.

The phenomenon may stem from a competitive interplay of male egos; a man who showers his son with praise would somehow be compromising his own power, making it less valuable. From the son’s point of view, if approval is given too easily, without some degree of withholding, the father is then no longer worthy of impressing. It appears that in most forms of society there is a belief that men cannot be both strong and open. This behavior does a disservice to men. They are denied the opportunity to express affection toward their sons—and the sons are forced to go without that affection. Now that you know about this, you can start from making some changes from within your home.

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2022-01-02 16:56:30 One Does not Become Fully Human Painlessly

Life is a spectrum of human experience, including suffering which is a normal part of life, not a sign of pathology. It is self-evident that as human beings, we tend to seek experiences that allow us to be comfortable. We enjoy our familiar environments, and favor experiences that keep the mental and physical senses in a state of balance and ease. This tendency, however, leads us to judge and label experiences as “good” or “bad,” depending only on the levels of pleasure or discomfort they may bring. In doing so, we do ourselves a disservice, since we are fighting against processes that lead to immense growth and development if we can accept them as a natural part of life.

An approach to life that echoes Buddhist thought is encouraged, where we accept all forms of experience equally, rather than shunning or denying those we judge to be uncomfortable or unpleasant . We also need to accept our “negative” feelings, rather than avoid or repress them. Suffering and sadness are not pathological issues to be “fixed,” they are natural and essential parts of living a human life, and are also important because they lead to psychological growth.

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2022-01-01 08:39:25 New Year Epistle: WELCOME TO 2022

Some of us are stressed. Others are overburdened. Perhaps you're feeling overwhelmed by the new responsibilities of parenthood. Or the upheaval of a new business. Or are you already successful and dealing with the responsibilities that come with power or influence? Are you battling an addiction? Are you madly in love? Or switching from one messed-up relationship to another? Are you nearing the end of your life? Or are you savoring the fruits of youth? Are you active and busy? Or are you completely bored? Know that, to go through this new year with contentment and happiness, understand the difference between what you can change and what you can’t. What you have influence over and what you do not. Control your perceptions. Direct your actions properly. Willingly accept what’s outside your control. That’s all you need to do.

Furthermore, Discover Your Calling; You possess a kind of inner force that seeks to guide you toward your Life’s Task—what you are meant to accomplish in the time that you have to live. In childhood this force was clear to you. It directed you toward activities and subjects that fit your natural inclinations, that sparked a curiosity that was deep and primal. In the intervening years, the force tends to fade in and out as you listen more to parents and peers, to the daily anxieties that wear away at you. This can be the source of your unhappiness—your lack of connection to who you are and what makes you unique. The first move toward mastery is always inward—learning who you really are and reconnecting with that innate force. Knowing it with clarity, you will find your way to the proper career path and everything else will fall into place. It is never too late to start this process. When your efforts are not directed at a cause or a purpose, how will you know what to do day in and day out? How will you know what to say no to and what to say yes to? How will you know when you’ve had enough, when you’ve reached your goal, when you’ve gotten off track, if you’ve never defined what those things are?

And lastly be disciplined; Self-discipline means living your life the hard way: resisting temptations and instant gratification, in order to receive bigger and better rewards in the future. It’s certainly easier to avoid all kinds of discomfort and indulge yourself whenever you want, but in the end, all that you get from that approach is fleeting pleasure now at the expense of your future, which otherwise could have been much better. Your choices are made in a moment, but their consequences will transcend a lifetime. It takes only a moment to make the wrong choice and jeopardize your future. What feels like an insignificant decision today can have a great, lasting impact on your future. Each choice sets a precedent — and when you make the same wrong choice several times in a row, it becomes your standard modus operandi. Each time you’re faced with a decision between exerting self-discipline and taking it easy, remind yourself that the choice you’re making today doesn’t affect the present moment alone. A momentary decision can (and often will) reverberate for many years or even decades into the future.

Wishing all of our subscribers a fulfilling year: May this new year bring new opportunities for each and every one of you ~ With love from the admins.

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