Psychology 💡

2023-05-13 21:02:11 Everything has boundaries: 5 ways to stop being seen as a no-holds-barred do-gooder

First, take a short quiz. Answer "yes" or "no" to just three questions:
- A friend asks you to do something. You've had a hard day at work, you're tired. Would you agree?
- A relative asks to borrow money. You have the amount you need, but you've been saving it for other things that are important to you. Will you lend it to them?
- You are called to go somewhere you don't really want to go, but it's inconvenient to refuse. Will you go?

If you answered "yes" or "probably" to all of these questions, then you have difficulty setting personal boundaries.

Saying "no" can be a beautiful thing. Here are five simple ways to do it.
1. be sure to say that you appreciate the other person's efforts.
2. Replace "but" with "and."
3. There is no "I can't." There is "I won't."
4. Sometimes a "yes" is a "no."
5. Walk away from the instant answer.

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2023-05-13 16:01:48 Forgive your abuser sincerely: 5 important steps

The topic of forgiveness is incredibly popular right now. How many ways, techniques, and sacred practices are offered by various near-psychological teachings. And like any current idea, forgiveness has become surrounded by a lot of myths and even a means of manipulation. So today let's try to figure out what forgiveness is and what you can do to really forgive a person.

- First you should admit to yourself: "Yes, I am offended.
- The second step is to answer yourself the question, "Do I want to forgive this person?"
- Then it is important to acknowledge and live through all of the emotions associated with the offense.
- Now it's worth turning around in the direction of the offender and try to understand him.
- Finally, you can remember something good that you had with that person.

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2023-05-13 15:06:24 Open / Comment

2023-05-13 10:01:01 How to break up if you continue to love your partner: 4 tips from a lawyer

1. Don't be guided by resentment
Anger and resentment is one of the phases of goodbye you need to go through. However, your aggression will not bring your partner back, it will make it harder for you to find common ground and come to compromise with him.

2. Don't fuel the conflict.
Try to create a calm atmosphere and start a dialogue. Your partner's decision may seem final, but all they probably want is to get their old relationship back.

3. Step out of your usual role.
Think about how you behave in an argument situation. Often the roles are distributed quite clearly: one partner is the accuser, the other is trying to defend himself.

4. Think about what the relationship is for.
It happens that we love not so much a partner as family status, a sense of security and stability, which it brings. The other party sensitively reads this, even if we are not aware of our own motivation.

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2023-05-12 21:00:46 How to become effective: 9 simple tips

We work hard, give all the effort, but for some reason the desired result is still not there. What is it and how to solve it? We tell you about nine ways to increase efficiency.

1. Wear a watch.
2. Set goals before you start work
3. get rid of interference
4. turn off your smartphone
5. Work on your thoughts
6. Plan a "productivity hour."
7. Attack difficult projects at the beginning of the day
8. Take one-minute breaks.
9. Make productivity a part of your life

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2023-05-12 16:01:31 You can not love yourself? 4 effective strategies from a psychologist

1. Allocate enough time for careful planning of the day
Dissatisfaction with themselves often arises from the fact that we grasp at once for several cases. In order not to get bogged down in self-injury, it is necessary to try to better organize your day.

2. Cook yourself a good dinner
Cook as if you were doing it for someone you care about. Think of what that person loves, imagine how he or she would feel tasting what is lovingly prepared for him or her.

Determine what your needs are and how to meet them.
Those who are aware of their own needs are more emotionally stable and confident in their relationships and less prone to fear of loss.

Surround yourself with people who have a positive influence on you
Relationships with others greatly determine how you feel and experience life. Seek out those who make you a better, more positive and confident person.

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2023-05-12 10:01:24 10 topics to discuss at the beginning of a relationship

Dr. Michael Metz, PhD, has compiled a list of items that partners need to agree on in order to minimize future conflicts or just realize that a long-term relationship will not work out for them.

1. Level of spontaneity
2. Perceptions of an ideal sex life
3. The way of solving conflicts in the relationship
4. Control of finances
5. Religious beliefs.
6. A place to live together
7. Attitude toward maternity leave
8. Ideal vacation spot
9. Amount of time given to friends
10. Views on fidelity in a relationship

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2023-05-11 21:01:58 4 everyday situations during the day that can provoke anxiety in us

There are little "tipping points" that happen every day that can cause us unaccountable anxiety. What are these situations?

1. Sunset.
Sunset or other transitional moments associated with the onset of evening can provoke anxiety and restlessness.

2. the end of an enjoyable or interesting period of time
We can spend weeks preparing for an upcoming vacation and, when it comes to an end, find no room for anxiety.

3. Changing "audience."
We often put on a kind of "mask," changing it depending on the audience, and we feel like we can't afford to show our real selves with many people.

4. Moving from one thing to the next
If we chronically don't have time to do everything, we may feel like we've outgrown our responsibilities. This can provoke a lot of anxiety-especially in moments of "micro-transitioning" from one task to the next.

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2023-05-11 16:01:31 How to work productively and avoid stress: 7 tips

When the heir to the family business, Ricardo Semler, got to run a huge corporation at the age of twenty-something, he was full of the most incredible ideas and plans. A year later, however, everything changed. After overcoming the odds, the businessman shares some helpful advice.

What steals time?
1. Belief in a directly proportional relationship between effort and result
2. Belief that the amount of work done is more important than its quality
3. fear of being delegated, fear that you could be replaced

Treatment of the disease "lack of time":
1. Start at the end
2. Purchase a second wastebasket.
3. Cut down on paperwork.
4. Delegate things to other people

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2023-05-11 12:31:00 Is it time to worry? Checklist for assessing your emotional state

How do you practically know when to accept your feelings, when to express them, and when to change them? Cognitive psychotherapist David Burns, in his book, offers a checklist, a list of questions to help you decide:

- How long have I felt this way?

- Am I doing something constructive to deal with the problem, or am I just thinking about it wistfully, just to avoid dealing with it?

- Do my thoughts and feelings match reality?

- If I express my feelings, will it help me or make it worse?

- Am I upset about a situation that is beyond my control?

- Am I avoiding a problem by denying that I am really upset about it?

- Are my expectations of the world realistic?

- Are my expectations of myself realistic?

- Do I feel hopeless?

- Do I have low self-esteem? Open / Comment